Thursday, January 19, 2012
1-19-12 Reflecting on the Past Week
I took a little blogging break because we've been out of the country, well, Joe and I have been out of the country. A week ago today began out trip. Phase one was to take our boys to my parents house. Our flight wasn't leaving until Saturday morning, but I didn't just want drop them at my parents' house and turn around and leave them. I didn't want to leave them at all. I was torn: go on this mission trip or stay on my own little mission field at home with my boys.
I have to confess, I wasn't torn like this in November when we went to my friend's wedding in Mexico. But there was the element of safety this time. Mexico is known for the violence they have right now because of the drug cartels. Plus, we're not at a secured resort. We're in hotel in the neighborhood that we're working in. By the time I did take our boys to my parents, I didn't feel scared. I had peace about all of us being okay. But when I left my parents' house, I cried. I cried hard for quite a while. It was kind of weird because I don't really cry that much. I was sad.
So, here we are. I've called the boys a couple of times and they're doing great. They don't seem to miss us all that much, but Max refused to talk to me the other night. I think it's his passive aggressive way of saying he misses us. I'll take what I can get.
It was a big deal to decide to come on this trip and it took a couple of days into it to know for sure that I made the right decision. There are a lot of reasons for this; they make for more of a novel than a blog post, but I will never have the attention span to write a novel. But here's one reason as it pertains to mothering. I am trying to instill in my boys the desire to love God and to love other people. I know I can talk to my kids about this all day long, read stories about it and even sing some cute songs about it. They really need to see me doing it.
This one week mission trip challenged me physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Have I found a way to incorporate the fact that I mixed concrete with a shovel yet?? Have I mentioned that I cried like a baby when I left my boys?? Have you gotten the impression that God worked more to change me when I thought I was going so he could bring about change in the people we were serving??
My heart has softened to people in need and I notice endless ways that my life is just easier and oh, so very different. But we do share a faith in a God that cares about every little detail of our different lives and he just goes on to keep showing us his faithfulness.